Biased behavior of men towards women

#Observation - be it our food court, cafeteria or KFC or other food counters - customers normally bash the #women service providers. With #men they argue but their tone remains a bit less harsh! Amazing partiality!! Men should be ashamed of their biased behavior.

Common (wo)men's fashion show!!

Have you ever been to a common men's fashion show?

No!!

I don't believe it. If you are not a star / a celebrity - then you are a part of the common men's fashion show. If you are a poor person - who I am sure you are not; you won't be reading my blog post here otherwise - then you may not be a part of the show.

Every middle class and yeah sometime high class too, is a part of this fashion show. The audiences of the show have some of their members as part of this show.

Come on! Guess, guess, guess...

OK, I give you a clue - It's a hit show on weekends.

Ok, ok... I give you another clue - It's a super hit show during holidays - in almost every mall.

Are you able to guess now?

I hope so... Alright, time to disclose the secret.

The common men's fashion show happens in front of all the trial rooms, in the trial sections. Mostly, it happens with women. They would go in with a whole set of clothes - a whole wardrobe, to be precise; Try one by one. They come out wearing each dress one by one and show it to their partner. The partner could be their roommates, boyfriend, husband and colleagues. 99% of the women go for others' opinion, besides their own. And the fun part is they would be communicating it mostly through non-verbal body-language. And not only the shopping partner but the whole army of men would be looking all those women from outside the trial area. Men! - They don't have the privilege to go near the trial rooms, unless there is a single trial room in the middle of the floor.

About men taking part in the show as models, rarely does someone come out to show it to the partner (especially to ladies). They decide for themselves. And if someone does come out then it's only because they want to avoid arguments with the ladies, like my husband does :).

Yeah, there are exceptions and those exceptions are for those guys who are hesitant to buy something and are confused about whether they will really look good in it. They need some approvals in the form of support and sincere comments, which increases their self confidence.

Also, there's one more category where the guy has a little feminine characteristic in him and they are the ones who have many girls as just his friends and he needs all their approval before buying anything. Whatever these girls ask him to buy he buys. Loll.

So, the men's fashion show is not much popular as compared to the women's - never seen any such show of men. If you watch they do let me know your findings, observations!!

If you want to watch one, go to the big malls in the weekend. Lights on!! Music on!! Enjoy the show with the A/C on!!

♥ ~ Smile

The scared women

Male - female ratio in India is 1000:880. I felt bad earlier for the number of female is less in India. However, these days I am feeling good for the number is less. Especially because the number is less in India. Reason - this is a completely male dominated society. A girl is brought up lavishly like a Queen, she gets married to a person of her cast, as per her family's choice. After marriage whatever suffering she goes through no one takes responsibility of that. Before marriage the parents eagerly search for proposals. Whoever is a bit good, having good property, they handover their daughter to them.

Then all of them, the husband, the in-laws, the parents expect the girl to do all sorts of work that she had not done in her so far life. They expect her to each and every work herself. Some families don't even allow cook and maid, just because they feel its a waste of money, when they have already got their Bahu (daughter-in-law). How far may be the house still they would stay in the same house they spend less money for. The women of today are becoming weaker and weaker in terms of their health. Mentally they are powerful for they are yet dealing with so many people in and out of family. Whatever may happen it's the womens' fault. She is blamed for everyone's mistake. Whoever, whatever she may be, but she is expected to do all house-hold and outside and office work. Her contribution to the new house is considered as something obvious. 

If she falls sick, it's her fault. If she has a miscarriage, it's all her fault. If she is getting cold and caugh problem frequently, the question would be asked, why are you getting cold so frequently? But no help would be provided to her, she has to get rid of it automatically. If she is not liked any more then she will be asked to give divorce or will be pushed off from a mountain. Now, the role of the parents is really wonderful hear. The father of the bride later would tell, you are a woman, so you have to compromise. That's what women has been doing since ages. As per him the bride groom is supposed to just enjoy a lavish life and the bride has to serve him. Not only the father, the mother too asks to compromise. They all say, "What to do? We are destined for this. We are female, born for kitchen and household work." What a wonderful parents. Pathetic is just a small word to describe them.

And about scolding what people don't realise is the story of Salmon Island is applicable in human life, adult or young it's applicable to all. In Salmon island when people want to clear some trees, they don't cut the tree. They all gather near the tree and curse and scold and take all their bad frustrations. After few days the tree becomes weak. And finally after few weeks it dies automatically. Such is the case with human. Are we really destined to tolerate, listen the scolding, discouragements just because we are women? I don't know the answer, thus, asking about it. 

I feel happy sometime for those dead girl babies who did not come to the world, to India, to be taken for granted. I feel sad for even if our country has developed to great extent, still we women are seen as powerless, weak and yes, we are made that even if we were powerful when we were young and teen. We are made to be scared of people and then we are told that you girls get scared easily outside home. Who has made us scared of? It is the parents, the siblings who constantly show their power on their youngsters. I have many friends who are younger to their brother and the brothers always who case their power, their control over their sisters. The female starts getting scared of the world then. She is scared of the family members and thus is scared of the society. How can she be independent then? Her thoughts are always controlled by the father, son, at times mother. She becomes so dependent on them that if they all, unfortunately die, the lady becomes helpless and becomes a prey for the vultures of the society.

We say we want to make the women strong. But that doesn't happen, for the base is so weak, how come the house will be strong? In my opinion, everything starts from the family. Be it emotions, strength, courage, business, communication, leadership, the power to invent and discover. For how many days a person would surf the internet or read the books continuously to get some motivation. It has to come from the family, and thus is the property that everyone carries forward from generation to generation. The way a father behave to the daughter or wife, the son will behave the same way to the females of the world. Cause that's what he has learnt from the so called first school of his life, the Home. If you make the female of your own house scared of you, believe me outside the house they are going to get scared of every single person. And you unintentionally make them victim of uninvited incidents, which they could have easily avoided if they were strong enough to think about the solution and not just get worried of the situation.

My job was to suggest you some ways... The rest is all in your hand. I hope you people are listening to me, rather us - women.

Read ahead to understand women

I have moved this story to another blog of mine.

Please refer below:
http://vitaminsformind.blogspot.com/2010/05/this-was-story-shared-by-one-of-my.html

♥ Woman and Life ♥

Women and Life go hand in hand. This thought came to my mind not just once but repeatedly since I was 21. I have been observing how a woman contributes to every one's life. I don't say Men don't contribute. They do. However, I feel the contribution done by a woman is much more than a man. If I focus on just positives, then I can define a woman, from the majority of women, as patient, calm, courageous, alert, intuitive, prepared, organised, lovable, caring, discipline, affectionate, empathetic, controlling, leader, manager, worker (hard and smart), bold, determined etc. etc. etc. The list goes on and on.

If I focus on negatives... umm...; I won't focus on negatives, for the more you focus on negative vibrations, the more the universe generates it for you. So, all good - nothing bad!! I hope and wish that all the women with the negative vibration on them soon focus on the positives in them and others.

Now, do you wanna know why this thought came to my mind over and over?

I had several incidents where I met people of different age, background and grade. I met people from different community, status and culture. When the guys are asked to do an impromptu speech on a topic; I found some of them make a story based on a woman or based on the woman of their life. Whatever may be the topic; the consensus of the speech would be a woman. Some focus more on their mother, some on their girl friend(s), some on their sister, and some on his wife. The most fascinating part is that the one who focus more on their girl friend, always... I focus again; 'always' wins the impromptu speech contest in the small group of people. I have also found some people, when asked to provide an introduction about them; they would focus on the girl of their life. And believe me or not, that person is highly appreciated by the group and gets a huge applauds. I asked few of my colleagues' kids for who is the favourite of them, Mommy or Daddy. The guys would usually say, Mommy. The girls would say Daddy in most of the cases, but there are few who still say, "I love my mommy!"

These small gestures urged me to think - Can't anyone live without women? We talk about women! We love women! We appreciate those who praise their women!

Also, these gestures questioned my brain with some negative questions too. I found some people know the trick to win the mandate and thus use the terms - girl friend and wife - and create story around them and present it before the audience. However, I also found that they actually doubt the potential of women. There are many for whom women are born for the house and work there. There are many for whom marriage is to bring a wife home. And that wife's job is to prepare and serve him and his family delicious food, to socialise with the neighbours, to bring children from school, to take them to doctor, to bring the groceries, to teach the children good lessons / morals, to take care of every one's health, and to give him the pleasure of life. I found such people giving wonderful speeches about their wife. However, do they really understand how much energy is she dealing with and she needs? Or do they just appreciate them for they do their job like a super woman? Do they really understand her deep desires and her deep feelings? I just hope they really do.

In those question and answer session, I wasn't the winner of that quiz; for I yet don't know some of the answers. I still don't have the answers.

However, I have come to know that without a loving woman, life would be like that seed deep under the ground waiting to be nurtured. Woman as a mother has the power to lay the foundation of a child, to make her/him a great person in life. (I will mention her instead of her/him - for 'her' is he standard to mean both the genders now-a-days). The mother not only nurtures the child after its birth, she starts to nurture the baby and baby's thought process, even when she is in the womb. It's what she sees, what she enjoys, what behaviour she receives, what she reads / writes, what she thinks about. Everything she goes through the pregnancy period that affects the child's mentality after birth. Woman has that potential in them to carry the baby in that open space with the web through which they feed the baby in their womb.

She knows when upset or angry or depressed a simple heartfelt hug or a gentle kiss can heal it. It's that caring pat on the face or head or the shoulder that can bring a peaceful sleep to anyone, from a baby to an adult to an old person. Have you guys ever slept near your mother's belly? I did several times; even when I was in my engineering studies. Not just that even now. Whenever I get a chance I do so. And the most amazing thing in this world is whenever I sleep near her belly, I feel so much peace as if there are no worries in my life. And within seconds I get deep sleep. I miss those moments so much now, at this moment, for my mom doesn't stay with me anymore, for I am married now. Who doesn't want a peaceful sleep! Everyone does. If you don't sleep some day and have your mother with you, just try sleeping on her lap, or near her belly. I guarantee you; you will get sleep within seconds. I wonder some time may be that's because that was the safest place before we landed on earth.

You know what's the thought coming on my mind now? I am thinking about the guys, who don't have their mother with them - what they will do. May be they can try to do the same with their wife. I believe that would yield similar result, but not same though. Still a caring hand and gentle pat on the head and face would result in almost same result.

Woman as friend, guide you selflessly, support selflessly, care for you selflessly too. Woman as sister is the most demanding and adorable. Woman as best friend are simply awesome; provide you have got a true friend, who loves not because of your color or status or education - but loves you because of what you are.

Woman as maid has the awesome power of cooking and cleaning 2-3 houses at a stretch and has the power to server you wonderful food (at times not to your taste). And yet after doing all these they serve their own family members. What a marvelous job!

These capabilities some time disturb me a lot and I find it really hard to distinguish life and woman. Shall I call life as a woman or a woman as life? If you have the answer, do let me know.

Until I write again...

♥ ~ Smile

I choose Red Buses now!!

It was a Monday morning. The speciality of Monday in mylife is that I am always late to office on this day of the week. So, as usual that Monday too I became late to office. However on that Monday my preferences changed about the buses. What? Why? How? I will tell that shortly.

My husband dropped me at the Marthahalli bus stop and I had to take the bus. I usually travel in the Blue Bus, the one where you can find all kinds of people, starting from IT professional to the kid, from poor lady to the students. However, my husband would always insist me to take the Volvo Red Bus. I take Red bus sometime and not always. I had quite good experience in red buses except the fact that most of the time I had to stand in the bus for 2-3 KM, during the peak hours, and then I would get a seat some how. I always wanted to have a middle class life so that if life throws some surprises to me some day I would not feel so uncomfortable. So, I travel in all type of buses and try to explore the kind of service I get in each kind buses available in Bangalore city.

That day something really vexing happened and my perception and preference changed entirely. I was late to catch the bus to reach my office on time. I could not wait to catch a Red bus and got in to a blue bus. Unfortunately I got the last but one seat reserved for ladies. I took my headphones and tuned in to the Radio. Still I could listen to the stupid gossips people had. The bus was packed with the day workers. And they were talking loudly. Anyway.. who cares them.. I am busy with the nice songs.

A middle aged lady entered the bus and was standing. I thought I would give her my seat. Then looked around to see if there any place available for her to sit. I could see two guys sitting in seats reserved for ladies. I asked that lady to go and sit there. One of the guy did rise from his seat and offered the seat to the lady. And he sat in between the laps of the other guy. Seemed to me that they were friends. Just after that a couple of minutes passed like that in normal gossip.

A couple of more moments and things changes. Suddenly the ladies at my back seats got down of the bus as their stop had come. Then two guys sat behind me, the day workers. They started gossiping in loudly in their native language. They were shouting to the best of their voice. Initially I felt that they are fighting, and thus I looked back to them from the corner of my eyes. They stopped for a moment and then started shouting again. This time they started to laugh too. That's when I could figure out they are may be gossiping about me or may be on someone else or may be on every one. Not sure what they were talking. I started to listen to songs in full volume. Still I could clearly hear their voices. They afterward started hooting too. I started feeling irritated. They spoke to the driver too loudly. And the driver was laughing and responding to their talks.

I kept quite and continued focusing on the songs being played at the radio station. They continued with their comments, loud laugh and ridiculous whistles. Still my head had started aching and I started feeling pissed off due to the kind of behavior I was receiving. My husband's words echoed in my mind, "Take the Red Volvo. You will go with peace and you can relax there as you travel. Its just a matter of 15/- more than the normal busses. You can enjoy your music there too and you can take a glimpse of the news too. Don't be a Kanjoos and catch the Red bus." I did repent that day for why did I catch this bus when I should start my day with freshness and positive energy.

To add to my annoyance the bus driver instead of letting us get off at the Domlur bridge, took us to the Domlur bus stop. Unfortunately I had never got off at that place ever before that day. I felt like scolding him and shouting him. However, I just tried to make myself calm for my energy spent on scolding him is not going to affect in any way and it would go waist. Why would spend my valuable energy on such a nonsense and stupid fellow. So, I kept quite, got off the bus, wondered for a while which way to go in the butterfly bridge. I crossed the road and went to the otherside. As I was already late I took one the standing auto-rickshaw and started for office. The auto-rickshaw driver charged me 40/- bucks, which was 2 times the amount the auto-rickshaw drivers take for that distance.

It turned out the be a costly day. Instead of spending just 25/- I payed 50/- and I had experienced those ill-behaviours and got some stress along with it. I had some ill behaviors and bad experiences with the busses earlier. However, that day the kind of stress and irritation I had, I decided that I would not go by those blue city bus or the pushpak brown color busses. Now I go in the Red bus. Though the amount spent is more than the blue busses, but you get the nice breeze and place to relax and savor some music. And I use the time to read the newspaper. Thus, I have some more time to spend with my family now. I am happy with the Red bus service. The only glitch are, some time too much coldness + some time the alcohol smell from the conductor / driver. But, I can manage with these with a jacket + two cotton buds + a handkerchief with perfume in it. :)

Red is good... I had enough middle class life. Now its time to think bigger, dream bigger and live bigger. I enjoy my journey now. I wish you enjoy yours too.

Catch you in the next blog... Until then keep smiling...

♥ ~ Smile