Bless me

My last post... if I read now I feel that I sound so desperate and stupid. Someone very close had died and every time someone dies, the whole situation reminds me that our time here on earth is limited. I tend to remember this line in times when I have a fight with someone. And with this thought I tend to forgive the other person and behave as if whatever happened is forgivable and forgettable. However, what I observe now is that people tend to take this quality for granted and keep on pouncing again and again. And slowly I am feeling enough is enough. 

Someone recently told me that, "you don't talk to much people, do not try to take any extra measures to maintain the relationship, yet if you notice, those people have kept you in their lives. There is something in you which is unselfish and innocent and that only those people know cause they know you from your childhood. Even people who hardly have spent few month with you in school time, know your quality of friendship. School days are when people make pure relationships. So, leave those stupid college day friends, focus on positive and strive to make your dream come true." So, yes when I observe the school friends know me well and never hurt me and vice versa. 

It's time, 

                a) to leave the garbage people to where they belong - the dustbin, 

              b) to progress in the path where I live with dignity, self respect and fulfill what needs to be done.

Wish me luck and bless me so I be true to my dreams.

And Thanks C for your assuring words!

~ Smile

My Heart's Longings

I don't write these days even though I want to. Writing here is like writing to own self. I'm not even sure if anybody reads what I write.

I never made any good friends. Always had trust issues. And that issue deep rooted when the few friends who became close friends, used to visit my home too, suddenly without any explanation disappeared from my life. And after years when they saw me they didn't even speak a single word to me. I got their contact numbers and messaged them, they didn't respond and blocked me. I wrote e-mails to them and never got a single response. I'm sure it went to their spam or they just simply didn't choose to respond and ignored.

Well, it feels so bad that the selected people you were friends with they too ignore you, want to erase you from their lives. And what hurts most is that you don't know why they are ignoring you. What heinous crime I did to deserve such treatment.

I searched my question in Google and this is what I read in a post in Quora:
______________________________
https://www.quora.com/When-someone-suddenly-stops-talking-to-you-without-any-reason-what-does-this-mean

It could mean a multitude of things !

1)They used to enjoy your company and your conversations but now they no longer do.
- Could be true.

2) You did something that upset them terribly and they don't think its worth explaining to you what the mistake was.
- Honestly, I don't want to die without knowing the reason.

3) They had an ulterior motive right from the beginning and that's why they started talking to you ! Now either the purpose is solved or it is no loger necessary.
- Umm, I don't think so.

4) They had a crush on you thinking you were single but they realised you are comitted and are no longer interested in you.
- Nah, they are not that kinda friend.

5) They just now got to know a part of your character that they completely loathe.
- I would be glad if they would tell me, so, I can die peacefully, knowing what mistakes I did in this birth.

6) They were your pen or chat friends, you met recently and your face-to -face personality and behaviour was completely different from what it used to be over messages, and they don't like it.
- I haven't met any of my chat friends, yet.

7) They hated you from the beginning , wanted to teach you that it hurts to suddenly stop talking especially after you’ve been close.
- If they did, they have my curse that noone will remember them ever.

8) Your common acquaintances said something really bad about you that they no longer want to talk to you.
- hmm... I'm really skeptical about this part.

9) They want you to miss them.
- About, one friend I think this could be the case, taking revenge from me by not talking to me.

10) They're playing a prank.
- Pranks don't last for years together.

11) They want to give you a surprise in the near future and they think not talking to you for sometime before that and then attempting a thoughtful gesture, adds to that element of surprise.
- I have a feeling that this is not happening in my life ever.

12) They're reeeeaaaaaaallllllllyyyyyy busy.
- Yes, they are, however, I visited them when they were having party. So, can't be busy in a party. Right?

13) They are somehow mentally depressed and are distancing themselves from everyone not just you.
- Could be. Or it could be vice versa. That I'm depressed and they are avoiding a depressed person.

14) They made a huge mistake, don't have the guts to own up and also can't bear to hide it from you when you talk , so they avoid you completely.
- I have no idea and I don't think so that this is the case.

15 ) They already told you the reason symbolically before they stopped talking , but you didn't catch it.
- Yeah. Could be the case. I'm a dumb person when it comes to understanding double meaning talks and understanding symbolic talks.

16) You might have misbehaved with them and they started hating you for the cause.
- if I have, I'm really sorry for that.

17) It probably means that you have not lived up to their expectations in some way. But it could also be because of your other associations. It also means that you need to expand your social group and activities to a level where one person’s apathy does not disturb you too much.
- I have. Still no friend can replace a school (or college) friends. Especially a Friend with whom you were friends for 7-8 years continuously.

18)  I'm sorry to say this but eventually everyone that comes into you life can't always stay they just teach you a lesson and their gone. You gotta accept that and remember that not everyone can stay. 
- True. Yet when life is on the downhill, I often remember my school college friends, those very few friends I had.

_______________________________

Honestly, before I leave this body and set off to don't know what life form or no life from at all, I would like to know the reasons, my mistakes. They don't have to be in talking terms with me. Just tell me my mistakes. What made them stop talking to me at all?

-------------------------------------------------

Edit as on 2021-07-05:

Check this post of mine for the updates... https://gayatrigouda.blogspot.com/2018/11/bless-me.html 

also

https://gayatrigouda.blogspot.com/2021/07/what-was-i-doing-being-away-from-blogger.html

~ Khushi.

After a long time.... Be a responsible parent, or don't become one at all

Hopefully, this year I'll start writing blogs again.

And yeah just a thought to the parents... If you can't give your time to your children, teaching them right from wrong, good manners, discipline, but leave it up to the kids to learn on their own, better don't have any kids of your own, cause the limited time that you spend with them, pampering them in those limited time, you are creating nothing but criminals and monsters who bully and torture other kids, unknown to the fact that they are taking out their frustrations from home on outsiders.

If you can't commit to parenthood, better don't become one. Cause it's really annoying to see the expressionless faces while your kid continues to bully and has no respect for others.

Become a responsible parent...

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo - Movie Review

Prem is back… Truly Prem is back and Only Prem is back…

Things those are good in the movie –

• Amazing picturisation of songs. Halo Re, Prem Leela  are my favourite among the other beautiful ones. The choreography suits the songs best. And all the background dancers dance so well to bring out the best in the songs.
• Gorgeous and truly breath-taking sets. Jalte Diye, Prem Leela, Bachpan Kahan are the ones with eye catching backgrounds. The best sets… and light effects are simply awesome. And the ‘Sheesh Mahal’ is just felt like a wonder of the world. So beautiful sets.
• Fantastic camera work. Be it Halo Re, Jalte Diye, Prem Leela, Tod Tadaiya, Aaj Unse Milna Hai, or Bachpan Kahan – the camera work really is done very well. 
• Soul-touching music and ornamental lyrics, something that touches the core of a person. Amazing music by Himesh Reshamiya and some of the ‘jhakash’ voice of the new singers.
• Salman Khan, Deepak Dobriyal and Swara Bhaskar’s acting.
• The action sequence was good. Sword fighting was powerful and nicely worked out.

Things that went bad in the movie –

• Every scene of the movie was so deliberately told as if it’s being told to a small kid. It’s not a kids movie but family movie and Kids are more smarter than adults these days.
• The movie’s focus was more on Prem rather than the family or family value.
• All other actors other than Salman, Deepak, Swara and <the security chief person>, lawyer.  
• The story line was very slow and boring. The dialogue delivery by actors were way too slow and artificial. Many were seen doing over-acting. No role of villain in the movie. It felt as if he was put there to justify the sibling rivalry. There were hardly any dialogues for Armaan Kohli, yet he delivered it pathetically. The anger, frustration and pain were so artificial in Neel Nitin’s acting. Even Anupam Kher’s expressions felt un-natural.  
• The most disappointing acting was done by the leading lady Sonam Kapoor,  Neel Nitin Mukesh and Armaan Kohli.
• There was no family in the movie in the movie. 
• The climax of the movie is unnecessarily stretched. The worst mistake of this movie I felt is shooting the climax at the beginning and then since it’s already shot they ending scenes didn’t fit-in properly and were dragged. Climax should have been a ‘Bang-on’ climax. The climax takes away all the fun moments of the second part of movie and is totally disappointing.
• Very bad graphics work. From the top view of the palace it looks like it’s on the edge of the waterfall, and from the front angle it looks like the terrace is just at 15 feet height from the water level. 
• There are few other actors in the movie who have done their role with passion. Yet Anupam sir disappointed me. Also, every time I saw Armaan, I was remembering how powerfully Mohnish Bahl used to deliver his dialogues and his body language was truly villainous and negative.

What could have worked if changed?

• Just as the brother wondered that this person could not be his elder brother, the audience should have also wondered - who is the person who came the palace? The focus was more on the entry scene of Prem. The song could have been placed a bit afterwards. It felt like the song was picturised first and then they could not fit it in properly, since the character Vijay is also played by Salman Khan himself. So, the suspense factor was lost in the deliberately told scenes that Vijay had an accident and they accidentally got Prem. They should have kept that fact hidden and later on revealed that Vijay is still alive. 
• Most of the scenes felt as if they were made just to fit in the songs. So, the screen play was a head ache actually. The flow of the movie could have been directed better. And story should have covered most of the stories rather than having so many songs.
• The worst mistake of the movie, or rather I should say the director is, Sooraj ji chose Sonam Kapoor, Neel Nitin Mukesh and Armaan Kohli. The worst actors of the movie. Their dialogue delivery was as if they are novice in acting and are practicing those lines. The expressions were so made up expressions. 
• Sonam – her acting is pathetic. She only knows how to show her beautiful teeth. There was no sensuality in her expression in Jalte Diye song, the running scene in Prem Ratan Dhan Payo title song had the most unnatural and ridiculous smile – she doesn’t know what ‘Sharmaanaa’ is about and thus the ‘sharm and haya’ part was totally missing in her expressions and was so unnatural in “jab tum chaho” end scene and all other songs. A good actress is one who speaks more with her eyes than her words and thus she is pathetic actress in that sense.  All she has a beautiful smile, that’s it. So, the director shouldn’t have so adamant about having only Sonam as his lead actress, when there are more talented actresses who know what grace is and how to use those in the romantic scenes.
• Neel Nitin Mukesh’s worst performance is in this movie. Never expected that he would be so bad in acting. He should have been directed properly. I would rather blame the director for accepting such poor performances from these actors.
• Armaan Kohli – why was he taken? The worst actor of the movie. I wonder why was he taken. If it was to give his acting career another chance, then Sooraj sir should have given him a chance in some other movie. Anyway, his role was also not much, so I doubt if anyone else would have wanted to do the role. 

• There was no sad song in the movie when there were several places when one could have been used. A movie that doesn’t explore on the pain side of life will never be a movie to stay in audience’s mind. 

With all the glitches, the best thing in the movie is Salman Khan, who has done absolutely fantastic job in living 2 totally different characters. As Vijay he is very strict and upset, angry and sad, defeated but powerful, alone yet royal. He plays that role perfect. As Prem he is very charming and nice, funny and lovable, understanding and adorable, lovable and ‘perfect man’. As Prem he truly has stolen everyone’s heart again. Prem is back and truly he is back. It was wonderful watching him as Prem once again.

Deepak Dobriyal as in his other movies has done superb job of being in the character he is playing at the moment. Partner of Hero, be it actress or his side-kick , is always very important in making the Hero’s work memorable and Deepak has done just that. His acting is memorable just as Salman’s. Sonam on the other hand is an insult actually. Every time I watched her performance I wondered, if not any other actress, Sooraj sir could have taken Madhuri Dixit, she even at this age would have done way better acting than any actor of this generation. And I would have loved see Salman-Madhuri’s chemistry. Salman was right about hesitating to work with Sonam. He may have given the personal reason of being 19 years elder to Sonam, yet he knows better about who can do what and what will work.

One funny thing I noticed, not sure if you did too... There was Harshali's photo on the table, in the scene when Vijay comes to meet his sisters at their place.

I honestly missed the old team of Sooraj Barjatya’s movies, though many are no more with us, yet I feel it was always those professional actors who made Sooraj jis work memorable forever in our minds.

I would surely watch Prem Ratan Dhan Payo movie, but only and only for Salman Khan, for his acting is as he says ‘another level only together’ now a days. I would skip the sections I do not like and watch only him for he is the Best part of the movie.

About the family values that Soorj ji talks about in his movies, I liked the way the same situation with sisters is handled differently by Vijay and Prem. Lesson to learn from the 'family' story of the movie is, it's the way one deals with problems and situations, that decides whether it's going to be resolved or not.

You, who is reading my blog now.. Have a wonderful time ahead!! and Thanks for reading my blog.

~ Smile

Dr. Sunder Narasimhan - Best Vascular Surgeon in Bangalore

Dr. Sunder Narasimhan - Senior Vascular and Endovascular Surgeon at Apollo Bannerghatta Hospital. 

Whenever I think of him 2 thoughts come to my mind immediately - 1) God, 2) "Welcome the Rain (and along with it the Thunder) for only when it rains that one can see the Rainbow".

Why God? For he saved my husband's leg from getting amputated when we had got no hope from the other doctor to whom we ran up to for 2 days.

Why Rain and Thunder and Rainbow? For he would not excuse you for being careless and irresponsible. He would then scold you like you are his own family member.

An expert in his area of medical science and does surgeries to his heart's fullest, with dedication and passion. A genuine person, a genuine Doctor who doesn't pretend to be nice and give you false hope to loot all your money. I have seen many money oriented doctor, and have also seen some true doctor who help you recover from your ill-health - Dr. Sunder Narasimhan is one such doctor who's serving patients and helping them out of their pain with his expertise in extraordinary ways. A very passionate doctor who takes his profession very seriously.

And whoever feels he is rude, feel yourself lucky for only if he is really concerned about your problem and he feels the seriousness of the problem, he would show you that side of him too. He is one Doctor who puts extra efforts to help you. And still if you have any problem with the way he speaks then I can't help you. It's how you take it... can't help with that. It always depends on you how you take anything or anyone.

I am forever indebted to him for when other doctors said amputation of leg is the only option left, he's the one who saved not only my husband's leg but our lives. He's God to me! He has magic in his hands. May the Supreme Lord keep showering thy blessing and love, me Lord be with him and keep him prospering! And honestly, I don't care how he talks. 

Thank you, Dr. Sunder Narasimhan sir!! We are forever indebted to you, Sir!

P. S. His blog www.drsundervascularsurgeon.com

~ Gāyatri Gouda  

Try, try, try... No matter how far you have to go

When some doctor tells you that, "Sorry but there's nothing that can be done at the moment. Sorry, it's already gone. I can't help you now. We have to amputate.", he actually means that he doesn't have the expertise to help you out. So, in that situation rather than loosing your hope, go visit other doctors.

One doctor denies that doesn't mean it's the end of world. Don't believe a negative comment unless you have tried all your options. Try, try, try... Unless you loose all your options. Search for the best surgeons and visit them no matter how far you stay.

Beware of doctors who tell you that it's the end of the world for you.

Who is mental?

I saw a person in hospital yesterday who was talking to himself with expression. There were other people with me who saw him too and said his mental state is disturbed or may be he is mental. He was talking to himself, just the way we talk to our near and dear. Who better near and dear one would have other than himself / herself.

After that discussion was over, I was sitting in the cafeteria and wondering about my husband who has undergone a surgery few days back, and then I noticed that I too talk to myself, about my worries, about what happened, what could have prevented and all the things that went wrong which led to the surgery. My talking was limited to my thoughts and an occasional silent / not much noticeable nodding of the head. Then I wondered that the guy who was talking to himself may or may not be a mental. If he is then all we people are a little 'mental' at some point. Some find themselves alone during the bad times and react differently.

One should always have company in hospital otherwise you never know when the attendant will also become a mental patient. There should be someone with whom the attendant could share the feelings. Keeping the feelings inside is a very bad thing.

To complete the article - who is mental? - I would say we all are at some point.

Just a thought... The Shawshank Redemption Syndrome

Was watching "The Shawshank Redemption"... The part where Old Brooks was released from the jail and scenes afterwards, they felt so similar to me. "These walls are funny. First you hate them. Then you get used to them." These lines are actually lived by me. Not the jail walls, but the home walls with my family. I was so scared when I went Mumbai to join my first job just like Brooks was. The world looked so anonymous and scary for I was out of my home on my own for the first time. Everything was new, the culture, the people, the food... Everything! I wished then that I should have stayed in a hostel or boarding for sometime.

I am sure like me there are many of you who felt the same... :)

Happiness is...

Happiness is...
Gossiping with Mommy

Happiness is...
Talking to brother about everything

Happiness is...
Creativity and Art

Happiness is...
My little bundle of joy

Happiness is...
Holding the little finger of Daddy and walking

Happiness is...
Getting support for everything from my Love

Happiness is...
Giving a lift to children and poor people while traveling

Happiness is...
Saving someone's life

Happiness is...
Being Human

💓💜

Happiness is...
Writing blog
😊

June 8, 2015 - A happy memory with Anmay

Papa: This is my baba! I will take him to Australia with me!
Mommy: Don't believe him, baba. He is a big liar! (sarcastic)
Anmay: No, Mommy is Big liar! (Papa is very Happy) Papa is small liar! 😂😂😂😂 (everyone burst into laughter) 😂😂😂😂

What an awesome way for a good night! 🌃 everybody.

Tanu Weds Manu Returns - movie review

I know, I know .... It's too late to write any review about this movie as it's old now. But I just want to pour out my thoughts in my own blog. I have already done in my Facebook. Yet this blog is one treasure of mine and I wanna treasure some of my memory while I still can. So, here it goes...

One of the best movie, amazing actors, great direction. A movie that had no gaps, not a Single moment where you become lost for few minutes or seconds for that matter. Completely captivating! A movie worth spending money, get mesmerizing entertainment.

The best part of the movie is even though Kangana is playing double role, the two characters played by her are so distinct that one would feel like there's a twin of Kangana who's playing the role. I would say after Vidya it's Kangana who makes me feel and say "Wow! Now that's called acting!" And more amazing thing is there's not a single actor who you can criticize for their acting. I totally, utterly and downright loved the movie!

The consistent and silent acting of Madhavan is something that makes me fall in love with him everytime I watch his performance.

PIKU - Movie Review

Watched PIKU yesterday. Very interesting movie.

The brilliant acting of every character, the silent dialogue exchange through the expressions, the subtle beauties of Kolkata captured beautifully on the cameras, the comedy, the events, the rise of love and affection happening silently between the 2 young characters - brought back so many memories of few of my friends and delighted my soul.

It was a blend of subtle flavors of acting with emotions and dialogues.

It's a beautiful movie with cute story, heart touching dialogues and brilliant performances.

It's a must watch movie...

Pyramid food court in EGL IT Park, Bangalore

Whenever I have breakfast at Pyramid food court in EGL IT park,  I sit in one of the tables that are near the gates. I face towards the fountains. I see people moving around; some are drinking tea or coffee or some other drink; some are just inhaling fresh air and walking; some are taking their kids to the near by creche; some are rushing to the Office that are beyond the gates of the food court. And I enjoy those moments happening around me.

However what I most enjoy is the fountain and the water flowing from it. It makes me calm. How much stressed I may be, whatever things I may be worried about, that early morning scene makes me serene. I don't know why or how that happens,  but that visual effect brings me peace. It feels so good, can't explain! Those small fountains where the water looks like milk is coming out of it, that white color - may be that's what does the magic.

There are many fountains in this IT park, however none has the same effect as this one has on me. If the weather is cloudy, those smell from the plants makes the scene even more charming. It feels great! Today is great!  Everyday is great! It's really a small yet nice IT park... <3 ing it

And yeah as I said earlier, this is not the only fountain in #EGL. There are so many gorgeous ones. The below is another gorgeous one near to the building where I work.

In this polluted and always busy city these waterfalls help me release the stress.

:) ♥ ~ Smile

Birthday Month - July

This month is a birthday month for me. The first birthday of the month is my son Anmay's on 6th. Then it's my dear husband Dinu's birthday on 12th. Then comes my dear brother Biswaranjan's birthday on 14th. After that it's my sister Suchitra's birthday on 25th. Then it's my dear brother Kaustubh's birthday on 30th.

I have some of my friend's birthday in this month too:
Beena's on 18th;
Mayur's on 1st;
Kunmun's on 20th;
Amita's on 19th;
Jayant's on 13th... Wow, I am surrounded by so many July borns.

Happy Birthday to all my dear friends!! As for family members; we would be celebrating together. :-)

Amazing Thunderous Night!

Yesterday!

What a thunderous night! Amazing! Felt like I was in the Iraq Nuclear war! What lightning! It was a like a chain of lightning electrified to each other. The sound was terrifying and it reminded me of the movie The Soccerers Apprentice. The cupboards were vibrating with the thunders. The light was blinding. It was truly the scariest night for me. I was not even scared a cinch during the tsunami in Odisha. But this took the hell out of my soul.

But more than that I was wondering how scared those people living in those one room quarter must not be.

This morning, everything is so calm and quite as if nothing had happened in the night! Wow!

Amazing experience! I wished I could record a bit of the night, however, I was so scared to even move from the bed. My son even pushed himself to my side fully. Amazing night!

♥ ~ Smile

My Latest Passion - Novels!

I have been observing that I read a lot more Novels than I watch movie... I have finally understood the craziness one feels when they read a story than watching it on a screen. 

One explore so much about one's power of imagination, visualisation, seeing things through mind's eyes!! Oh! I love it. God's grace be on me and help me find time to manage my work, personal life and imaginary, in other words magical life. :)

Oh yes, the same kind of feeling I get when I listen an English song. I couldn't believe those English vocabulary has such power to create a beautiful song along with the variety of music instrument and the power of the singer's voice.

And oh yeah - I love my flipkart ebooks. So far the best ebook reading app that I have found. All other readers are just average ones, including the ones that the book publishers provide.

Have a wonderful day and keep smiling!!

♥ ~ Smile

that one person...

"Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you will find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along." 

When I listen to these dialogues from the movie "Brides War" the first person who comes to my mind is my best friend 'Chandana Shree'. She is that one person...

♥ ~ Smile

Twittering phase

No time for blogging... don't have time to think and phrase and write a paragraph. So, I find twittering better. 1/2 line max. fewer words. and whatever comes to mind in that instant twitt it down.. Hope to find some time to form a page :)

♥ ~ Smile

I feel lost...

So many thoughts now-a-days just come and go... and with this busy schedule of my day, I keep forgetting what had come to my mind. :(

Well, I guess I am not trying hard to find some time for blogging... for jotting down my thoughts and because of this only I guess I feel lost at times...

I have watched some good movies recently... and I feel like writing my views about the movies... about how I enjoyed those and why and what...

Yeah... that should be good enough to re-start/invent/discover my writing abilities...

Wish me luck!!

♥ ~ Smile

KA 01 F 3926

KA 01 F 3926

This is a Volvo bus in Bangalore - that throws smoke at the drivers behind it like anything... The black smokes are enough make those drivers sick.

Can't believe the BMTC says take a bus ride than traveling in your vehicle. And allows such buses - causing pollution - to still go around the city. May be they know that they are causing pollution enough and thus its better to stay inside the bus than drive your own vehicle.

Do something about these polluting buses, BMTC!!