Odia or Marathi or Indian - who am I?

Recently I watched some interviews by Mr. Raj Thackeray in You Tube. I went into a comma state for few minutes after listening to his viewpoints. My husband asked me, "What happened?" and my answer was a blind look at him. Mr. Thackeray's thoughts had left me in the state of horror and panic. I had not felt such insecurity even when the Kargil war had happened. I recollected my stay in Mumbai.

I have lived there for more than 2 years (2 years 3 months to be specific). I would say I love Mumbai - for it was my stay out of my home state Odisha (earlier called Orissa) and I had faced some real challenges in dealing with the huge population, traffic, culture, food, water, pollution etc.

Though there were many challenges that came through, the situations, the people; they gave me an idea about the practical real world, where you cannot survive with the thought that the world is full of peaceful humans. Everything is still fresh in my memories. The rush in local trains, the huge steps that you have put in order to catch your bus after you come out of the platform - amazing! Just amazing! I never had such experience for the past 21 years or my life. And after the long 22 years I am actually facing the fast paced world. Gone were that calm and quite weather of my city, those cows - buffaloes - goats - crows - and many others birds/animals. And I am here in this land full of huge towers - naae - those are houses where people live; much above the ground. Rush anywhere - everywhere!

Before I landed there I had this fear in my mind. Mumbai mahanagari ~ सपनों का सेहर (the city of dreams) - you can reach to the top here - you can destroy yourself too. These bad clouds were over my mind throughout my stay for almost a year. After I completed my first year there, I started to come out and mix with people. And that's when I actually discovered the city, the people, the food and the culture. People around me used to love us for our manners, for our behaviors. They used to share their food, sweets with us. They helped us with tools we needed for some house hold work. No one looked at us if we were wearing Jeans, Sleeve less t-shirt or a skirt. I was not used to these kinds of fashionable clothes earlier - for I was scared what the people around me would think of me. However, I found this place so lovely and the people treated us just like their own people. Well... exceptions are always there - just like Mr. Raj Thackeray.

I would say we are pointing out at that guy for he is able to show his guts and tell us, "Yes, you non-Marathi Maanus - Get Lost!" However, there were few... unhu... there are few more maanus like him. It's just that they don't have guts. However, I wish the population of these people is less. For, after listening to Mr. Thackeray's speech, I have no more interest to go there back. I have fear in my mind now for they would kill us some day - just as the British soldiers did 100 years back. I have stayed in Mumbai, Hyderabad, and Bangalore. However, whenever, someone asks, I say - Mumbai is my favorite place to stay. Especially, Navi-Mumbai - I just love that place and the people out there. However, as these things are going on there I am hesitant to go back.

There are more confusions that go on and on in my mind. My husband is born and brought up in Mumbai, Bandra. However, he is an Odia as in-laws went there and settled there for my father-in-law got his job in Navy Dockyard. He doesn't have fluency over Odia language, however, is affluent in Marathi. I can understand Marathi completely (for I stayed there for 2+ years), but cannot speak it. I am born and brought up in Odisa. We stay in Bangalore, Karnataka now. You know what! I wonder which language should I focus on, which language should I teach my child? Odia or Kannada or Hindi or Marathi or Telugu? Tough question to answer! Hindi - we would teach for its declared as our national language. English - without this you can't do any kind of communication/business in most part of the world. Kannada - for here too this Kannadika feeling is there. Odia - Marathi; God knows if my children can ever focus on them in this fast paced - competitive world. This definitely makes me sad every time I think about it.

We say we are democratic and have so many religions, so many languages to speak, so many variety of food to savor. But aren't these causing a lot of struggle, misunderstanding, and stress? We say we are Indians. I say, "I am an Indian!" However, we don't have a single language called "Indian". Every time we have a war we all become one and we say we are Indian. After the war is over... and just few days have passed - we all become our own religion, language based, state based, city based people. We say no to two lovers to get married cause ~ one is Brahmin and the other is Shudra ~ one is Hindu and other is Muslim ~ one is from North Indian and other is South Indian ~ one is from Village and other one is from a City ~ one is from Mumbai and other is from Nanded ~ one is from Odisha and the other from Pune. I can go on and on recollecting situations I have seen in my and my near and dears' life. Things don't go good with Indians from different part of India. And there always happens a big... naaee... a Huge drama around these two people from different zones. Thank God they were Indians!! And one of them was not a foreigner. What if he or she falls in love with a foreigner? I can imagine how long the melodrama would continue and then a gigantic war between families. Output - can't state a single "The End" for it varies.

Sometime I feel I have lost my identity. These events, fighting, struggles they are filling my heart, my brain with panic, insecurity, fear and anxiety. It causes unnecessary stress. I feel insecure for myself. What if some day a riot breaks on and opposite parties want to kill Odias and Marathis. What would happen to us then? Who are we then? Myself: an Odia; Himself - a Marathi. Both will be cut down by those giants. Can you recollect the scene from 'Bombay' movie? I can clearly now.

I am scared to visit Mumbai at all now; though I have to some time for sure, for I have my brother-in-law and sister-in-law and their children settled there. God!! Save us!! Give us some sense about our own country, our own people. Release us from the hatred and fear.

I read this blog few days back and I liked it very much. Go on and feel the 'Indian' in you for you too must have some moments in your life like this: "A Lunch with Bal Thackeray".

Catch you in the next blog...

♥ ~ Smile

The pen is mightier than the sword! Really??

In our Toastmasters meeting today, we had a table topic (impromptu speech) titled "A Pen or a Sword - which one would you say?" The speaker started as "Obviously The Pen is Mightier than the Sword. So, I would choose Pen over Sword. That immediately rang a bell in my mind - "Is Pen really mightier than Sword? At least in today's world does it still stay true?"

Today anyone can show a sword and can make her write anything she wants. Isn't this true? What is authenticity of that information - this wrong information spread among masses has the tendency, has the power to take them towards the wrong path. Anyone can plot a fake story in pressure of bullet trigger. Remember the dialogue from the movie 'Rann' - "Bandhun ke nishane pe tum kisise kuch bhi bulwa sakte ho. News to tum aise he bana sakte ho." Now you can make news. How many such journalists are there, who when deliver the news to you, you feel from your heart - that yes, this is a true journalist. There may be 1 in a 1000 such journalists who show you the true picture of the actual news. Otherwise almost all news goes through the makeover. Just a single statement about a religion and you can provoke the entire nation. Don't you think this is an ill-usage of the Pen and the Sword? I do feel. And I do believe now that both Pen and Sword have equal strength. You can use it to bring peace. You can use it to destroy not only the nation but the world and entire human race. Ah... not only the human race but any race, any species in this world.

Well... my mind started wandering in this complicated web of thoughts and I missed the last portion of the table topic speech. However, I felt sometime these small topics drive you into the gigantic waves of the current affairs as well as the history - for you tend to recollect what you have heard, what you have listened to and what you have seen / experienced in yours and others' life.

Looking forward to your thoughts on this topic...

Catch you in my next blog...

♥ ~ Smile

["The pen is mightier than the sword" coined by English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton in 1839 for his play "Richelieu; Or the Conspiracy"]

Attitude of Gratitude [CC # 3]

Year 2005. I was in Mumbai then. During weekend we visit the big malls there to celebrate friends' birthday or just have a group lunch or dinner. One weekend we visited Pizza Hut in the famous R-Mall to celebrate our friend Venkat's marriage.  We savored some of the fine Pizzas of different variety. After the food we paid our bills and came to the entrance.

To show we are pleased, we rang the bell hanging at the door. We heard a "Phank You"! Yes, we heard a phank you and  not a thank you. None of the boys looked at us, or the person at the counter. Everyone was busy with their job of taking orders, serving orders, printing bills. They didn't even look like they are willing to say thank you. And yes, all these turned their Thank you into a Phank you. I have never ringed a bell since then. I don't feel like. Because that is not the way a "Thank you!" is conveyed.

As the pace of our life speeds up, we tend to lose some of the simple gestures of life. The more is the pace the greater is the impact of these gestures in some of those most deserving of them. We have forgotten the proper usage of the two tools - Thank you and Sorry. These are to be felt and expressed at the right time. A birthday card sent a day late is like a month old newspaper!.

Many of us are too shy to say thank you or sorry. We want to put them across nicely, when we are in good mood. This is where we actually lose the right opportunity, the right context and the right moment to express our gratitude.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but also is the father of all virtues. Do not forget that 'thank you' is a poor wage. And whenever, someone has done a job for you, you must pay and then give 'thank you' as a bonus. Your reputation will spread slowly and steadily.

When you convey your thanks:

                   What you express in words is 10%

                   What your eyes convey is 20%

                   What you say from your head is 30%

                   And what you say from your heart is 40%

The same goes for 'Sorry'. So, my dear friends, you can fool yourself but not others.

If you have not said "Thank you" or "Sorry" yesterday, where you should have said so, do the next best thing and say it today.

When Jesus Christ cured 12 lepers only one stayed behind to thank him. Today, one in a hundred is fine. Do you want to be the one or one among ninety nine?

Likewise, there is one more simple gesture that is almost lost and has profound consequences. It is the lost art of writing "Thank-you Notes".

Everyone loves getting e-mails. It's a fact of human nature. We all have a deep seated need to feel important. I truly love receiving letters/fwd. messages/feedback. I feel great when I receive a note on my speech delivery from my fellow TMs and Guests. A sincerely written thank-you note has the power to build and to cement relationships with those heartfelt letters of thanks. It shows you care; you are considerate and human.

By saying thank you and sorry promptly, you can reduce your stress a lot in your personal as well as professional life. Every morning when you get up, Thank everybody, for all that they have given to you. In this way, you start your day with gratitude and this attitude of gratitude will help you deal with the above simple gestures throughout your day.

When you go to places in a taxi, after you pay the driver, bless him with the bonus of 'thank you'. This way, you are actually depositing the blessings into your love account. These deposits will give you far more happiness than any amount of money in your bank account.

Go out and buy a package of "thank you cards" and start writing. You and other people that you deal with will be glad you did. My teacher, Ms. Swati, was glad for I wrote her a thank you letter. And I am glad for she acknowledged my act with an Archies thank you greeting card.

To explain it more, the tree that has the most fruits is the tree that bends to the ground. Practicing humility shows that you respect others and in return you too receive respect from others.

I leave you with this quote well stated by Emerson "Without the rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar".

♥ ~ Smile

[Some of the thougths and statistics are inspired / extracted from books written by Dr. Pramod Batra and Mr. Robin Sharma.]